Me. My Studio. My Trainer.....AGAIN!

What a week it has been?  If you are looking for an upbeat, motivational, post…….This is not going to be the one!  Sorry!  I need to vent…..

As y’all know, last week started out with a BANG!  Truck exploded.  I managed to PR in the 1/2 marathon the next morning. Sydney had been sick for most of the week and Jake was nipping at her heels.  Adam and I kept holding our breaths as not to get sick and attempted to figure out exactly what to do with the burnt-out vehicle sitting in our driveway.  Needless to say, it was a rough weekend.  Unfortunately, the week didn’t get much better.  It wasn’t necessarily horrible, I just couldn’t pull myself out of the negativity.

I was BEAT on Sunday.  Everything from Friday night and Saturday had caught up with me and I wasn’t even able to drag myself or my hacking and coughing children out of the house to church.  It was a lazy Sunday and we REALLY needed it.  Jake was definitely not feeling well and honestly, nor was I.  There was no shower, no make-up and very few trips out of the sitting position.  I was getting very sore from the 1/2 marathon.  Much more sore than I thought I would be.  My hamstrings were on FIRE!

We knew that we had to get a move on with the exploding Ford sitting in our driveway.  We were fortunate on Saturday to have our good friends Chris and LaRae lend us their mini-van for a few days while we figured things out.  (May God bless the ground they walk on……They really saved us this week!).  Monday was going to be a day of many phone calls and what looked to be another trip to the doctor, for Jake this time.  I cancelled all but one of my appointments and was so glad I did.

I decided to nix my usual Monday morning run because I could barely move with my sore hamstrings.  I figured a few extra days of recovery was necessary and I’d be back at it on Wednesday.  I hopped in the pool and swam for a bit, but was feeling stale.  Mentally, physically and emotionally…..STALE!  I had work piling up that had to be completed by Tuesday morning.  Instead of getting the paperwork done, I spent the day recounting the truck explosion and discussing how much money we could actually afford to put into a new vehicle.  We tried a little car shopping locally.  Jake took a turn for the worse in the late afternoon and I ended up at the clinic with him until 9:30 p.m.  The day was gone.  By the time I got Jake settled and to bed it was 10:00p and I still had an hour and a half of paperwork……at least.

Tuesday morning is my usual H.I.T. (High Intensity Training) bike workout.  The alarm went off at 5:45 and I pulled my sore, stiff body out from under the covers and began to spin the pedals.  I actually warmed up and didn’t feel too bad.  The workout was a killer.  An hour and 48 minutes later, with what seemed to be a ton of surges and spin ups behind me, I was done.  I had a spinning class to teach in the evening and just hoped to make it through in one piece.  I knew that at the end of the day I would have a massage, so all would be good……….Wait.  Nope.  Nevermind.  Not this week.  My massage therapist actually came down with the cold and wanted to refrain from dripping his nasal secretions all over me.  I happily obliged the cancellation, but inside felt totally defeated.  I NEEDED THAT MASSAGE, but I didn’t need to get sick.  I almost forgot the next day was Adam’s birthday!

Wednesday morning came all too early and I had decided to run about 5 or 6 miles and then hit the pool, just as usual.  Yeah!  I should have rethought that.  I can’t remember the last time a run felt as bad as Wednesday morning.  My sore hamstrings decided to let me know that they were not so happy about the HIT workout and spinning class I submitted them to the day before.  I thought after a mile or so, things would fall into place and work out, BUT NO!  I actually think I ended my run in more pain than I started.  It was one of those runs that I should have just stopped and walked back to my car.  Of course, I didn’t do that and swear that most of the motorists wondered if I was purposefully walking funny or if that was just the way I ran.  It wasn’t pretty.  Good thing it was dark for the majority of it.

I jumped in the pool with hopes that the cool water would help the hammies.  No such luck.  They were going to be sore and uncomfortable no matter what I did.  I actually didn’t realize how much your hamstrings work while you are kicking and swimming.  So, not only did it feel like the pool was filled with oil rather than water, I couldn’t even think about kicking.  I decided to use my new paddles and just pull.  I’ll pay for that decision later on.

Like I said, it was Adam’s birthday.  We decided that while Sydney was at school we would take advantage of having only one screaming child and go to breakfast.  We walked in the front door of Village Inn and my phone began to ring.  It was a number I didn’t recognize, so I answered.  It was Sydney’s preschool director.  Sydney had a bloody nose and it was still bleeding after 25 minutes.  They wanted to know if I could come and help her out.  We walked back out the door of the restaurant and rushed to the preschool.  Sydney was covered in blood and still bleeding.  We put her in the car and headed home.  Luckily, by the time we got home the bleeding had stopped, but so had any celebration of Adam’s birthday, at breakfast, at least.  We decided to try for a birthday lunch.  Jake put a kink in those plans by throwing an absolutely HUGE tantrum about 10 minutes before we were to walk out the door.  I couldn’t do it.  I sent Adam on his way with a friend and wallowed in my self-pity as the children screamed in both of my ears.

Wednesday evening we tried the whole car shopping thing again.  Children and car shopping do not mix, especially on a day like today.  I do not suggest that anyone ever try it.  Not only were we getting very disappointed in our car options, but the kids had turned into complete maniacs and I was on the verge of losing it completely.

Thursday morning was my sleep-0in day.  I NEEDED IT DESPERATELY.  There had only been about one night during the entire week that both of our children had slept.  I was exhausted and needed a good night’s rest.  Sick kids don’t sleep well, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when I was up in the middle of the night again.  I had really hoped for a full night’s rest.  No luck.  Full speed ahead!

Luckily I didn’t have much on my schedule Thursday, except teaching my  H.I.T. cycling class in the evening.  I spent the day trying to catch up on work that couldn’t wait any longer.  I left early in the evening in order to hit the pool for 30 minutes or so before class.  I didn’t have time for dinner and thought I had brought enough snacks to see me through.  Nope!  Not enough snacks.  Dinner is a must on Thursday nights I guess.  In one form or another, I definitely need to eat more than I did.  H.I.T. lasted about and hour and forty-five minutes and towards the end I was in full bonk mode.  I could feel it.  I needed something and something quick.  I downed a PowerBar and that seemed to help, but I still wasn’t 100%.  I felt foggy.  I felt like I was falling apart.  How in the world was I suppose to run 15 miles the next morning?

By the time I got home from HIT it was after 9:00p.  I had some soup I cooked in the crock-pot that afternoon, but it wasn’t settling well.  My long run plans for the next morning were quickly fading.  Luckily, my running partner was out of town and so the pressure wasn’t so great to do the run.  I set my alarm with the thought that I would see how I was feeling in the morning and just play it by ear.  There was no running the next morning.

I woke up on Friday and felt like I had been hit by a truck.  My neck hurt (remember all the pulling and paddle work on Wednesday), my stomach didn’t feel well and I just felt BLAH all over.  I was sure I was sick.  I ate my breakfast and had to mad-rush out of the house to get Syd to school on time and me to my work meeting.  Luckily, the more I moved the better I felt, but I wasn’t feeling great.  I finished my meeting, picked up Syd and headed home.  Adam had found a car in Cedar City and wanted to go see it in the afternoon, so we hit the road right after lunch.  I was bummed that I didn’t get in my long run and was even more bummed that I wasn’t going to be able to ride on Saturday.  Adam had to work and babysitters were scarce.   Ugh!  I really needed a LONG bike ride.  I needed something.  I needed to snap out of this week’s funk.

Gratefully, the car Adam found was perfect.  The search could be over.  It was a little more expensive than we wanted, but just what we needed.  It is a 2007 Ford Edge.  A great car.  I’m really happy with the purchase.  We were able to drive it home that night and return the mini-van we had been borrowing for the entire week.  (Again, we are SO GRATEFUL to Chris and LaRae).  By the time we got home it was late.  A lot later than I wanted it to be.  I told Adam he was in charge of picking up our Bountiful Basket the next morning and I was going to do my best to fashion a long workout in the three hours I had before he left for work.

Sadly, I was on my trainer AGAIN for a hour a forty-five minutes (what is it about that timeframe this week?)!  At least it was a bike ride, right?  I pushed out of my mind the visions of the Veyo Loop I could be riding with everyone else on one of the warmest days of the year!  Despite our unruly children, I transitioned quickly off the bike and headed out the door to squeeze in an hour run.  I actually ran in the daylight, I have to be grateful for that.  So about a three hour workout.  I think that is classified as a long workout.  Not what I wanted, but at least it was something.

And so here I am……Saturday evening.  I’m still physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, but I’m determined to pull myself out of this rut next week.  The kids are on the mend, we have a new car and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t actually sick, just sick of everything around me.  I WILL make next week better.  I HAVE to.

Life is so hard to juggle sometimes.  It can be so challenging.  It can be terribly defeating.  Now, please don’t get me wrong.  I am grateful for MY problems…….MY challenges.  I wouldn’t want anyone else’s.  Mine are enough for right now.  This past week has taught me that I can’t do everything and I have very little control about what is going to happen. I can’t let these kinds of week’s break me down.  I have to find a way that it can lift me up.  Without bad weeks………..there won’t be any good weeks.  The bad ones make the good ones that much better.  So I’m shutting the door right now.  I’m locking it up tight and I’m moving forward.  I’m not going to worry about what I didn’t do this past week.  I’m not going to consume myself with the workouts I “should have” done.  I not going to let my weak moments as a parent define me.  It’s over. It’s done.  Here’s to a new week and a fresh start……………..I’m going to MAKE this week a GOOD WEEK!  Who’s with me? 🙂